The following are the reflections of one of my yoga students who sent them to me as a testimonial; a record of the yoga journey undertaken so far. Whether for general interest or to inspire others, I think they are worthy of a blog.

Yoga: Reflecting on 5 years of practice and teaching

Introduction

In mid 2013 my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and in September underwent major, intrusive surgery to remove the tumor. I was then working for a multinational plc in a senior management role requiring me to be away from home at least two days a week which demanded a lot of driving.

Although quite healthy and reasonably fit the emotional and physical demands arising from my wife's condition, together with trying to keep my work on a "business as usual" footing began to affect me mentally and physically.

In an attempt to achieve an equilibrium, I upped the exercise regime which actually proved counterproductive and so began to consider how I could address the emotional and mental issues that were becoming more pronounced. 

I am what might be described as a typical alpha male, conservative, self-reliant and perceived as being quite a strong character. Disillusioned in my youth with institutional religion I have a deep-rooted cynicism and skepticism of such matters so there was no obvious comfort to be found in this direction.

The beginning

As with so many things that have affected my life I came upon yoga quite by chance after reading it was a feature of the training regimes of many sports teams including the All Blacks, which provided me with material to more easily rationalize my interest when discussing it with friends and family. 

Initially it was the physical discipline that attracted and being new it allowed me to develop without reference to past performances, skills or ability, with which would come the inevitable reminders of an aging body that may have demotivated and caused me to give up.

My first yoga class was in the company of five women of varying age and an older man, probably in his seventies; I was out of every comfort zone and undertaking something of which I was completely ignorant and frankly quite useless at.

However as with many things in life to enjoy, be successful or to derive any benefit one needs a mentor to instruct, guide, correct, motivate, inspire and be your friend. Yoga of course can be learnt from a book but so can learning a new language but until you can converse with somebody it is a rather hollow skill and unlikely to provide much satisfaction or indeed value.

My yoga teacher very quickly captured my attention and so began the process of development; with the early focus on the physical as I was determined to achieve a degree of proficiency, albeit blissfully naïve that in yoga there is no measure of proficiency and it will never be an Olympic sport!

The first 12 - 18 months could be described as my initiation; the benefits were mostly physical as I lost weight, built muscle, developed coordination, balance and learnt how to breathe, all of which contributed to an improved posture, sense of wellbeing and self-confidence not just in class. Interestingly a sense of individuality in the class started to develop quite early and my participation began to become more inward facing. 

A shock event and realignment of personal objectives

About 2 years on from starting yoga, whilst in an improved physical condition which unquestionably had benefits for my mental and emotional wellbeing, stress arising from issues at work, contemplating retirement and ongoing medical concerns for my wife caused my blood pressure to rise dramatically.  

A wonderful friend and GP provided the medical advice and treatment but made it clear that further life style decisions had to be made and so began my second phase of yoga.

Yoga today

Now I should make it clear at this stage that what I about to say may not be "yoga correct" or in line with my teacher's thinking or beliefs; if that is the case I will be disappointed and may have to reexamine my thinking out of respect for somebody whose teaching I greatly value and respect enormously

After now four full years of uninterrupted practice I find myself very comfortable with the physical, spiritual and emotional aspects of yoga, albeit I now appreciate just how little I understand and just how much there remains to be understood.

I have learnt that practicing yoga is about self-awareness, it is personal and noncompetitive. It is however demanding because the mind and the body demands effort and is better for being tested and stretched but at the end of an episode there is no one sitting in judgment, so no winners no losers just degrees of wellbeing.

At the heart of my yoga is that I am kind to myself both mentally and physically so when life is turned on its head there are behaviours and techniques that can be harnessed to destress, refocus and realign behavior. I get enough of this right for it to have had a material influence on my life making me a happier, healthier and more content person. 

Yoga tomorrow

There is a saying that "a healthy body makes a healthy mind" which should perhaps read "a healthy mind needs a healthy body" suggesting there is a delicate balance. I am very conscious that each require regular effort and challenges and part of an ongoing learning process which is best undertaken through regular activity and the direction of a yogi.

Conclusion 

I am approaching 68 and as healthy and physically fit as I was 20 years ago; after some worrying health set backs I am today more in control of my mind and body than ever before. I attribute this to yoga and the guidance received from my teacher; I cannot think of a better route to the restoration and development of well being than through the practice of yoga.

MJB 19^th February 2018